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ROLE OF PATIENCE IN LIFE.

In daily life we do get frustrated and as humans we can get a little frustrated, we can get a little restless, so at this point of time what is needed for all of us is the practice of patience. We all need to be patience and somebody said very beautifully “patience is not just the art of reading, patience is the art of waiting with the right attitude.” We have to wait, we have to look through it and the wait can be of minutes or hours or days or weeks or months or years to get out of the situation. When we use that work “we have to do this,” that is frustrating and when you use the word “I choose to do it,” then it is uplifting like for example:  when you to a doctor and doctor says well you can’t eat this and that and then you say “what to do I have to follow this diet,” it’s frustrating but when you say “I choose to follow this diet,” then it’s inspiring and uplifting. So when we have to wait the question is whether you are going to take it as “I have to” or you are going to take it as “I choose to.” Ultimately we have to wait according to the situation but if you go through the attitude of “I have to” then you come across with hopelessness, restlessness, frustration etc, but if you go through the attitude of “I choose to” work on myself whatever the situation is then this is inspiring and uplifting. If your hair is gone and you treat yourself as you have to maintain this or save this then it’s not your decision or choice which makes you frustrated but when you choose to shave your head then you have already made your choice and this is uplifting and inspiring. Well, take this principle to your home, waiting what you have to do, whether it’s a corona pandemic you have to, whether it’s results and whatever you have done in terms of gaining success in your endeavours, in relationships to make the bond deeper and deeper you have to. And when this word “you have to” comes it becomes frustrating but when you choose to do it because it’s gonna reward you then it’s uplifting and rewarding. There are lots of uncertainty in life and during that period let’s not go through this have to wait, let’s start looking at I choose to wait and while I choose to wait let me work on myself, let me work on myself self­development, self­care, self­love, relationships, let me work on it myself and when we do that it can be inspirational and during this time though when the waiting time is going on how do you take that time on how do you keep that right attitude while waiting?..in answer here is what I do and these words will help you in trying to be patience during this time, when I still take a lots of flights and when I used to fly for my speakings engagements, while travelling some time travelling becomes little troublesome you know like while travelling many people drinks lots, one time the guy sitting next to me asked me that “are you fine if I drink?” I said yes I am totally fine you are seating next to me but it’s your choice and I respect your choices it’s fine, so then in a conversation I said to him,”oh my god it must be bitter right”, and in a reply he told me a saying in hindi that “tauhin na kar sharab ko karwi kehkr, zindagi ke tajurbe sharab se bhi karwe hote hain”, which means do not criticize alcohol by saying it’s bitter, sometimes experiences in life are far way more bitter, by hearing this I said wow..good wisdom and knowledge he have experienced. Long flights like 16 hours, 17 hours or more ..in that you have to wait, it’s not like a train that you can get off at any station and come back in again. And you know what I do on those flights?..I just be patient because I have to be there, but instead of going through the “have to” I decide to choose to spend my 17 hours in a better way, I have my resting time for a certain number of hours and the take off and lading takes little bit time and then I have my eating time and then I do my work so that I can keep myself busy, I watch little sometime, read a book and it goes, so I have cultivated the right attitude while waiting rather than cribbing that I have to I’m choosing to uplift myself and I tell you what the best part on a long journey where you have to patiently wait is if you got someone like your colleague, friend, a known person or a person having good vibes on board and suddenly the conversation starts and the time flies, you will not even realise thatyou have spend your 6 to 7 hours in chatting, when you have people whom you love right with you to spend the time time flies in a jiffy, patience becomes easy, the sixteen and a half or seventeen hours of flight will go like this and if you have someone who we really don’t want to be with, whom we don’t really deeply connect with, then time comes to a standstill , it is so difficult to keep going. So during these situations we should spend your time wisely, we can only wait in the right attitude for things to end and be genuinely patient if we cultivate that kind of a self­discipline working on ourselves and number two trying to connect to people who are really close to every single day of they are physically around you at home or wherever you live great they are not connecting to them onna video call

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How to manage your stress?| Stress Management.

What is Stress and Stressor? What are the ways to handle this? STRESS is the act done by your body and mind to encounter or to face some challenges or demands. And STRESSOR is a factor which gives you Stress. STRESS IS OF TWO TYPES. 1. Positive stress: Positive stress is also known as Eustress Which is good for us. This type of stress occurs when you are in a unique and challenging situation and whose result can be positive… for example: Trying a new hobby/activity, when you join a new job, profile of new job…etc. 2. Negative stress: It is also known as distress. This can alter or disturb your health…. for example: Job loss, financial problem, relationship problem, losing any close people..etc. In this you feel tired, headache, not being happy with anything and not focusing on work. Now the topic is how to relieve and prevent stress? HOW TO RELIEVE AND PREVENT STRESS? You can manage your Stress in two ways: 1. Fight response: By fighting with the situation 2. Flight response: by going away from the situation Its very important to prevent and control stress with good actions and at a good time. You can manage your Stress using 4A rule which is given below: Avoid: Avoid those things who give you Stress and when needed learn to say NO. Alter: Try to find an alternative to that problem which is giving you Stress. Adapt: Learn to adapt yourself according to the situation. Accept: Try to accept the situation when it is not in your favour and keep on learning new things. HERE ARE 3 APPROACHES FROM WHICH YOU CAN MANAGE YOUR STRESS: 1. ACTION-ORIENTATION APPROACH: If you are in a stressful condition, you can control, prevent with your good actions and at a good time very easily with a suitable action. This is called Action oriented approach. For example: If you have to reach your office at 10 AM and if you are stuck in traffic then either you change your way or you leave your home 10-15 minutes earlier so that you can reach your office on time. This step is called an Action oriented step. IN ACTION ORIENTED APPROACH THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU SHOULD KEEP IN MIND… a) Planning and delegation To fight with daily life stress planning is required. For example: If u don’t have planning according to your work and you have to complete your work in a day then you will miss your deadline of work completion and due to which you will become stressed. Planning helps in scheduling and prioritizing your tasks. It is possible that you may fail in doing your every work and getting success in it if you do your tasks by yours own and you might not get the outcome according to your expectation because you are not giving 100% to your every work. So you should divide your work to your co-workers who can do the work without your help. b) Managing time You can manage time by: Creating a to-do list Understanding the difference between important and urgent work Avoiding too much multitasking if you want to avoid stress then switch off your mind before going to bed. c) Managing people People can give you lots of stress. Due to some people you can face some conflict situations. So in front of those people you have to be confident which basically means: To present your personal feelings, opinions and beliefs in a positive way in front of everyone. Manage your boundaries. Learn to neglect unreasonable requests. d) Changing habits You have to observe and identify your habits which give you stress. For example: you are stressed because you are not reaching your office on time because you wake up very late….so to avoid this stress you have to avoid or change your habit of waking up late. e) Keeping a stress diary This will help you in understanding the reasons and your reactions of your stress. If you daily maintain this diary then you can easily identify the stressor and can manage your stress. 2. EMOTIONAL ORIENTATION APPROACH. You can avoid your stress by responding instead of reacting to it. In this approach you don’t need to change the situation instead you have to change your reaction as per situation, you can do this as: a) Reframing situation Rather than getting stressed about an unfavourable situation, you can reframe the situation or change the perspective towards it to feel less stressed. b) Positive affirmations From morning to evening you encounter lots of negative thoughts, you have to listen to lots of negative thoughts therefore to encourage yourself it is very important that you always think positive and talk positive. If you think positive and talk positive and feel positive then you will be free from stress. c) Looking at a big picture Most of the time you become stressed thinking about the short term. So you should try to look at the bigger picture and look for more opportunities. 3. ACCEPTANCE APPROACH There are some things which happen in everyone’s life which you can’t change, then just accept them. For example:  we can’t do anything about covid situation, we can only accept it. Similarly you should manage stress. Acceptance approach should be an attitude instead of an emotional one so that you can’t get rid of stress in every situation. There are many ways to practice this approach including: Mindful meditation Physical exercise Diet Taking social support Seek professional help CAUSES OF STRESS 1. LARGER THAN LIFE EXPECTATION Expectations are the main reason for heartache. The less you expect , the easier your life will be. THIS EXPECTATION IS DIVIDED INTO 3 TYPES: a) Situational expectation: In this you always expect a positive outcome, but sometimes results dont come according to your efforts. For example: in some examinations results do not come according to the expectations..and due to this you come in stress…or….if u have business and you expect a huge amount

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